Hardwired To Self Destruct: BPD And Me
Last June, I was officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, as it's being referred to more often in a clinical setting. This diagnosis followed a long period of internal speculation, and a “most likely has it” from an assessment in Celbridge. It wasn't a life shattering revelation, but it did explain a lot of things. The fights and rows I'd gotten into in the past and how quick I'd go from 0 to 90. The pervasive feeling of emptiness that seemed to be more severe than traditional depression (not that that's a walk in the park). The impulsivity when it came to drinking, substances, spending. It made me fearful for the future too, even though I'd been able to secure a place in a DBT program. I'm weary of writing disclosure pieces on mental health. They always seem so futile, and with an undertone of “poor me” no matter how I try and avoid that. However, BPD is one of the most debilitating and ...