Flying On Clipped Wings

Well, we're back at it again, writing poems and uploading them here.Before I'd have posted them to my Instagram and Twitter, both @scatterdebris for anyone interested in that, now I'm compiling my recent haikus to this here blog. Absolute State Of The Nation Despite us not having a two party system officially in Ireland, let's be real, it's a two man ship careening into a reef, FF. FG, FO is my response to both. We're ruled by Janus, God of mediocrity, A very Irish curse. The Difference Between An Artist And A Hack Is In The Arts Council Funding Writing is hard, and alienating, and you really do feel like you're just milking your past for tepid validation. Diary pages, Words bent like origami, All for a few likes. Those Who Can Do, Those Who Can't Teach, Those Who Can't Even Do That Write Instagram Poems Similar sentiment to the previous poem if I'm honest, futility is a running theme with my work Just futile outbursts,

(cw: suicide) This is a poem I wrote based on what kind of note I'd leave behind should it come to that. When I go, take a picture of what's left, make my body the next Dawn Of The Black Hearts, Donate my books to the SVDP, delete my browser history Let my friends know I'm at peace Let my enemies know I watch them sleep Play The Logical Song at my funeral Cause it was the only thing til now that made me happy Hurling season is over, I never had the hand eye co-ordination for it, but I admired their skill all the same

Any hack journalist working in the arts sphere can get a few thousand clicks by writing a “rock is dead” piece, because the kids are all listening to Playboi Carti now, and dad rock no longer reigns supreme on the airwaves. While it is true that the current genres favoured by the zeitgeist at the moment are guitar free for the most part, this take fails to consider one significant factor: extreme music has been having a great time. The Internet may have destroyed the ability of bands to make money solely off their music, but its ability to connect listeners across the globe made it far easier for bands to find audiences. You weren't tied to geographical location or needing a big label to do your distribution for you when it could all be put online. As the commercial side of heavy music withered in artistic and commercial terms,the artists on the extreme side stuck to their guns and pushed themselves further to make great art, and they won in the end. Look at how Deafheaven’s Sunba

Last June, I was officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, as it's being referred to more often in a clinical setting. This diagnosis followed a long period of internal speculation, and a “most likely has it” from an assessment in Celbridge. It wasn't a life shattering revelation, but it did explain a lot of things. The fights and rows I'd gotten into in the past and how quick I'd go from 0 to 90. The pervasive feeling of emptiness that seemed to be more severe than traditional depression (not that that's a walk in the park). The impulsivity when it came to drinking, substances, spending. It made me fearful for the future too, even though I'd been able to secure a place in a DBT program. I'm weary of writing disclosure pieces on mental health. They always seem so futile, and with an undertone of “poor me” no matter how I try and avoid that. However, BPD is one of the most debilitating and